By Roberto Muñiz, Parker President and CEO
It is not every day that an organization becomes 110 years young.
On May 11, 2017, Parker celebrated an historic milestone and took a big step toward changing, challenging, and expanding the conversation around aging in America. We celebrated over a century’s worth of exemplary, forward-thinking achievement in the aging services space while envisioning a future where everyone comes together to make aging part of life.
Our new brand emerged organically from what we were seeing and experiencing every day at Parker—all of which was borne out by the results of our survey you can learn more about below. Seniors are staying more vibrant, active, and connected well into their seventies, eighties, nineties, and beyond, and society is beginning to embrace that fact.
Inspired by our residents, participants, colleagues, partners, and the world at large, we have collected myriad examples of people, at any age, who are defying age stereotypes. Individually and collectively, these examples prove anti-aging stereotypes wrong by people just being themselves.
Our response is a campaign that we call it #WithIt. And we invite you to let us know what being WithIt means to you and share your own #WithIt examples (via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, @Parkerlifeorg, etc.).
For those of us who were present for the festivities on May 11, I hope this special edition of Parker Express serves as a kind of memento of our event. For those who were very much there in spirit, I hope these pages convey some of the energy and joy of that day.
The road ahead for Parker is an exciting one, and I’m thrilled we are on this journey together.
By Harry Glazer
Some people are so fond of animals that they make that passion the focus of their lives. Donna Schleif is one such person and we are so fortunate that she shares her passion with Parker.
Donna embraced animal companions, in different forms, as a child. These experiences helped launch her into a career that included long terms as a caretaker for research animals at Colgate Palmolive and as a store assistant/rehab specialist at the Pets, Pets, Pets retail store in Somerset, NJ.
Her passion for pets also inspired Donna's volunteer service at McCarrick, which has spanned over 14 years. At McCarrick Donna is the chief caregiver, health care coordinator, and cheerleader for all animals in the home. Parker at McCarrick has a rabbit, Whiskers; a dove, Paloma; and three parakeets. In addition McCarrick staff and residents enjoy frequent visits from Abby, the golden retriever canine companion of Maria Campilonga, McCarrick’s director of support services.
Donna visits McCarrick regularly three times a week to care for the pets, make sure they are well fed and healthy, clean up their cages, and to help introduce them to residents and visitors. She says that the most rewarding moments of her volunteer work are when she sees people take obvious delight in the playfulness and warmth that the animal companions have to offer.
Maria praises Donna’s work at McCarrick. “She is amazing! She does a ton of work to keep the birds and the rabbit healthy and well. She extends their lives, and brings them joy, with all the love she shares. Donna is such a treasure to McCarrick!”
By Harry Glazer
Some of the best jobs allow you to build skills, and fill roles, than weren’t on the initial job description.
For Patricia Romagna, recreation assistant at Parker in Monroe (PAM), such an opportunity presented itself when in the summer of 2015, she learnedthat PAM was looking for people to conduct religious services for the residents. Drawing on a long interest in faith, and her studies and experiences while earning a master’s degree in divinity studies from Seton Hall University, Patricia stepped up and offered to help out. She’s been a welcome addition to the schedule ever since.
Patricia leads ecumenical prayer services in PAM’s Great Room every other Sunday. Her services include readings from the Old and New Testaments, sing-a-long hymns, YouTube.com videos, stories, and large-type images of scriptural selections broadcast on a large video-screen for easier reading. PAM elders are invited to actively participate in the services, by reading some of the scriptures to the group. Patricia practices the readings with the elders before their moment in the spotlight.
Patricia’s religious services have become a tradition at PAM and are greatly appreciated by all the participants. Parker is grateful for her inspiration to serve, her talents to inspire others, and her dedication to the elders.
Photo caption: Patricia, standing, assists PAM resident Doris Short in reading a Psalm at a recent Sunday service.
(Formerly known as the Margaret McLaughlin McCarrick Care Center)
By Harry Glazer, with assistance from June Schaffer
In 1981 a group of Christian clergy members and business leaders from Middlesex and Somerset counties came together, with the support of St. Peter’s Medical Center in New Brunswick, to begin the work to establish a nursing home to serve seniors in the area.
Leaders of St. Peter’s Medical Center and the home’s board of trustees saw a clear need, noting in a Medical Center newsletter that hospital admissions of the frail elderly accounted for 20% of all admissions nationwide, there were only 1,200 elderly care beds within a 10 mile radius of New Brunswick, and most senior care facilities had waiting lists. The newsletter also noted that “the New Jersey Department of Health estimates that (in the next few years) Middlesex County will need 560 more beds for care of the elderly than exist now.”
The initial certificate of incorporation filed with the state of New Jersey identified the new entity as the Vienney Convalescent and Day Care Center, Inc. The home was renamed by the board of trustees in 1986 to the Margaret McLaughlin McCarrick Care Center to honor the mother of Archbishop Theodore E. McCarrick, the founding bishop of the Diocese of Metuchen. The Archbishop participated in the official groundbreaking for the home in July 1986, very shortly before assuming his new post as Archbishop of the Archdiocese of Newark.
The home’s first administrator was Dorothea Miller, R.N., L.N.H.A., who saw the home through all its initial planning and construction. She envisioned a home “where there will be a devotion to providing the aging with warm, loving, people to people caring.”
The home officially opened in January 1988, with 30 beds initially approved by the New Jersey Department of Health and additional increments of 30 beds approved in the months that followed. The home was certified to receive Medicare/Medicaid billing upon opening. The Margaret McLaughlin McCarrick Care Center was ready for full occupancy by the middle of 1989 and all beds were filled by the end of that year.
Dorothea Miller left the home to pursue other challenges in 1988, and after a brief stint by an acting administrator, Jim Caron was hired as the new administrator. Jim served in this role for 23 years, retiring in 2011. He was very well-regarded by staff for his compassion and warmth towards employees and the cooperative, ‘family-feel’ environment that he fostered in the home.
After Jim’s retirement, the home ‘borrowed’ an interim administrator, Gloria Zayanskosky, from
Parker at River Road in Piscataway. Gloria served in this role for 18 months and in November 2013 James Zauner was hired as the new administrator; he continues to serve in this role today.
The Margaret McLaughlin McCarrick Care Center has established a strong reputation in the community for providing compassionate care for the elderly and for treating its staff with fairness and decency. One of the measures that demonstrates McCarrick’s great reputation is the duration of service of many of its staff such as Business Office Supervisor June Schaffer (1988-present), Facilities Support Manager Maria Campilonga (1989-present), Director of Recreation Angie Tirso (1989-present), Assistant Director of Nursing Irene Wiechetek (started 1987, retired in 2013), Social Worker Anne Gumbinger (started 1987, retired 2014), CNA Maria Light (1988-present), CNA Dawana Daniells (1988-present), Lead Cook Dorothy Guy (1990-present), Cook Karen Spencer (1990-present), and CNA Sharon Andrews (1990-present).
The Margaret McLaughlin McCarrick Care Center is also proud of its continuing affiliation with and adherence to the traditions of the Roman Catholic Church. McCarrick offers Roman Catholic Mass for residents and staff at 11:00 am, Sunday through Thursday. McCarrick also has a Roman Catholic Chaplain on staff, who addresses the spiritual needs of residents. Father Andrew Nisari currently serves in that role and he was preceded in that role by Father Maurice Carlton (at McCarrick 1989-2000), Father Joseph Thul (at McCarrick 2000-2005), and Father Tom Ganley (at McCarrick 2005-2015).
In February 2016, after a long “courtship,” the Francis E. Parker Memorial Home acquired the Margaret McLaughlin McCarrick Care Center from the St. Peter’s Healthcare System and renamed it Parker at McCarrick. The leaders of Parker are honoring the traditions of McCarrick and building on its many strengths, to provide greater service to those in its care.
By Roberto Muñiz
Since March is National Social Work Month, I’d like to share an interesting similarity between the history of Parker and the history of social work.
When we discuss Parker’s culture one starting point often is Henrietta Parker. Seeing the benefits that compassionate, person-centered care had for her ailing husband, Francis, she decided to establish a nursing home in New Brunswick that offered such care to others. In the early 1900’s Henrietta was a pioneer in the work of creating home-like environments that offered the highest standard of care for older adults. We continue to draw inspiration from her work.
In the same era, America was witnessing the beginnings of the field of social work. One leader in this area was Jane Adams, who, with Ellen Gates Starr, founded Hull House in Chicago’s Near West Side neighborhood. "Settlement houses" like Hull House brought together native born men and women who agreed to live in poor neighborhoods and provide a variety of services for new immigrants – services like day care, libraries, employment bureaus, and citizenship classes. Jane Adams wrote a lot about the work of Hull House, producing 11 books and many articles, and gave speeches about Hull House’s experiences across the United States. She was truly a pioneer in the world of social work.
Parker is truly blessed to have caring and dedicated social workers in each of our homes and programs. These social workers, women following in the footsteps of Henrietta Parker and Jane Adams, are serving as pioneers to introduce the latest advances in compassionate care at Parker – such as the STAR-VA program, our new Parkinson’s activities, self-directed work teams, and other important initiatives.
On the occasion of National Social Work Month, let me offer our collective thanks to our social workers – Marcy, Samara, Katie, Kathy, Mary Jo, Melissa, Mollie, Tamsin, Tara, Erica, and Wanda – for all they do to lift our spirits and our standards. We are grateful for their professionalism, their dedication, and their exceptional compassion.
Ed and Frieda Cohen built an exceptional marriage together, founded on a true sense of partnership and mutual respect. Now residents of Parker at Stonegate assisted living in Highland Park, they recently marked their 71st wedding anniversary surrounded by admiring staff and new friends, also receiving warm greetings from local friends in the community.
They met at a USO dance, in Houston, Texas. Ed was a U.S. Army soldier serving in the Pacific during World War II, who was on leave and visiting the area. Frieda was active in a local service organization and had come out to show support for the troops.
Funny thing is, Ed wasn’t exactly planning to be there. He was on leave, lost his wallet, and the USO told him that he had to show up at a service center in Houston to get replacements of his identification. While he was there, he decided to attend the dance.
Ed was interested in the attractive young woman he met at the dance but realized that he didn’t remember her name. Luckily, he stayed in town to observe Yom Kippur at a local temple and spotted one of Frieda’s friends on the way to services. He asked for Frieda’s name and tracked her down after the holiday.
A courtship started, with many dates to movies, dinners, and dances. The romance continued after he returned to fighting. The war ended and they were married on January 27, 1946 at Frieda’s home in Houston.
In 1951, Frieda and Ed moved to New Jersey to be closer to his mother. They eventually relocated to Highland Park where they remained for decades. Ed worked in a luncheonette and pipe store, Rivoli, on George Street in New Brunswick. Later he owned a television rental service and had 38 hospitals under contact. He eventually sold the company to Sylvania. Frieda was an active homemaker, raising their two daughters.
They traveled together often, visiting every one of the US national parks. They toured Italy, France, Norway, and Venezuela, and made over 20 trips to Israel. They also made community involvement a high priority, with Ed serving for over a decade as a vice president of the Highland Park Conservative Temple and Center.
At Parker at Stonegate, where they have lived since March 2015, Ed and Frieda remain quite active. They enjoy exercise classes, weekly music performances, movies, and Bingo. And they are regular attendees at weekly and holiday Jewish religious services.
Parker is proud to join with Frieda and Ed in marking their 71st wedding anniversary and looks forward to celebrating more milestones with this model couple.
By Fern Marder
The Living With A Purpose Club at Parker at McCarrick (Photo credit: Fern Marder)
Everyone wants to be needed. Human beings are fulfilled when we have a job that benefits others in any way, whether we clean houses, teach children, run a business, or perform heart surgery. All religions clearly state that we should give to others who are not as fortunate as ourselves. When a person become a mature adult and begins receiving care or is moving to a long-term care residence, you might assume that he or she now benefits from other people’s beneficence. However, no matter how or fragile a person becomes, even if they can no longer live on their own, they often still want to find a way to give back and live a purposeful, meaningful life.
“If you light a lamp for someone else it will also brighten your path.” ~Buddha
The Rotman Research Institute at Baycrest Health Sciences published a study in the Psychological Bulletin in 2014, which determined that “volunteerism is associated with reductions in symptoms of depression, better overall health, fewer functional limitations, and greater longevity. Feeling appreciated or needed as a volunteer appears to amplify the relationship between volunteering and psychosocial wellbeing.” In other words, altruism is physically and emotionally beneficial for the recipient as well as the person doing the giving.
A remarkable example of residents’ altruism can be found in Parker at McCarrick, where long-term care residents formed the “Living with a Purpose Club” two years ago, under the guidance of social worker Erica Rattray-St. Jean. One of the group’s principles states that “If we don’t help others in need, if we don’t help ourselves, and if we have talents and do not use them to bless others, then we are empty by spiritual and societal standards.”
Since its inception the club has raised money and collected materials for the Alzheimer’s Association, the Living Water Children’s Centre fund, a school in Kenya, and the Caribbean Medical Mission of New Jersey.
The Living with a Purpose Club has just finished collecting gifts for Samaritan’s Purse (Operation Christmas Child), where participants donated a gift that could fit in a shoe box along with a check for $7 for shipping. These gifts are shipped to needy children all over the world. The Parker at McCarrick club held a 50/50 raffle to benefit Camp No Limits, which helps young people and their families with limb loss.
“Deeds of kindness are the very foundations of the world.” ~ Ethics of the Fathers 1:2
This season, participants of the Adult Day Center formed a choir with the purpose of entertaining people who live in nursing homes. The program was planned and produced by Cheryl Dolida, recreation coordinator, who also acted as the Master of Ceremonies. Fifteen talented singers along with guest vocalist Kailin Bouse and led by choir director Daniel Carr, performed at Parker at River Road on December 6th, Parker at Landing Lane on December 13th and Parker at McCarrick on December 20th.
The holiday program included 10 songs, including Christmas favorites “Joy to the World” and “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer,” as well as the Chanukah children’s song, “Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel.” Two program participants, Elaine and MaryAnn, also read the famous poem, “Twas the Night Before Christmas,” written by Clement Clarke Moore, to the smiling audience. The concerts ended with applause and shouts of approval. The choir members agree that it was worth all their hard work to make others happy during the holiday season.
“A man’s true wealth is the good he does in this world.” ~Muhammad
Many of Parker at Stonegate assisted living residents volunteer to help local charities such as Elijah’s Promise and community food banks throughout the year by making box lunches for the hungry. One Stonegate resident, Dorothy Tonkins spends time visiting one-to-one with elders who live at Parker at River Road. Another resident, Marilyn Levy, volunteers her time at the Country Store in the Pavilion. Some volunteers make sure new Stonegate residents are introduced to new friends to sit with at meals and are acclimated to life in an assisted living residence. Others visit with those who are in the hospital or volunteer in the Child Development Center.
Gloria Cohn, a resident of Parker at Stonegate assisted living in Highland Park, is part of a group of residents who are avid and skilled knitters. Since last year the group has partnered with the Joan Schick Blanket Project to provide baby blankets to infants in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at St. Peter’s Hospital in New Brunswick. Every few months the group members produce a dozen or so colorful blankets, and Bobbie Rubin, coordinator of the Blanket Project, gladly drops by to pick up the group’s works and deliver them to the hospital.
“Whoever has a bountiful eye will be blessed, for he shares his bread with the poor.” ~Proverbs 22:9
Parker at River Road resident Dr. Michael Wallach, a retired cell biologist, volunteers his time as a lecturer on a variety of topics for Parker residents and the general public. His 2016 monthly lecture series, Hidden History, was a great success. A new lecture series, Armchair Explorations, begins in January, with intriguing topics such as, “The Virtual Choir with 5000 Voices,” “The (Un)Lovely History of Divorce,” and “The Unbreakable Code of the Navajo Code Talkers.” From an early age, Dr. Wallach was inspired by his grandfather, a true Renaissance man who helped Michael develop a joy of learning. Michael’s ultimate goal for this series of lectures is to instill the joy of learning in his audience members.
No matter which volunteer activities our residents choose, they will enjoy the social, psychological, and emotional benefits of volunteering. There is no better reward that to use your unique talents and experience to help someone else.
By Fern Marder
Standing from left: Detective Mark Zeno from the Woodbridge Police Department, Patrolman Dean Petrillo, Lieutenant Anthony Crisafulli, and Captain Michael McLaughlin from the Piscataway Police Department. Seated from left: Meghan McFadden and Jasmine Pagan from the Office of the Middlesex County Prosecutor.
Many of us are aware of family members who live with Alzheimer’s disease of other dementias. We feel sympathy for them, but do we really understand how it feels to live with limited cognition, particularly if compounded by physical limitations? Sometimes, in order to understand what someone is going through, we have to literally step into their shoes, which is the ideology behind the Virtual Dementia Tour®.
The Virtual Dementia Tour® (VDT) is a scientifically proven method of building a greater understanding of dementia through the use of patented sensory tools and instruction. The VDT® was created by P.K. Beville, PhD, an award-winning geriatric psychologist, dementia expert, and founder of Second Wind Dreams®, an international, nonprofit organization recognized as the first in the nation committed to changing the perception of aging through the fulfillment of dreams for elders and the offering of innovative educational opportunities to caregivers, families, and communities.
Thanks to a grant from the Rutgers University Nurse Residency Program, several Parker team members were trained in how to facilitate the Virtual Dementia Tour. Marcy Salzberg, Director of Social Work and Dementia Care Services at Parker, found the tour to be of great value and incorporated it into some Dementia Care Program education initiatives and the staff education curriculum, where it successfully gave participants an empathic view into the lives of those who have dementia. Parker then purchased the VDT for use in all Parker sites, including the comprehensive package, which allows Parker to offer the Tour to the community.
Parker contacted the Piscataway and Woodbridge police departments and the Office of the Middlesex County Prosecutor to gauge their interest. All three organizations were very interested and sent representatives to Parker’s first tour for non-employees.
Participants in our first Virtual Dementia Tour given to the public were Detective Mark Zeno from the Woodbridge Police Department, along with Lieutenant Anthony Crisafulli, Captain Michael McLaughlin, and Patrolman Dean Petrillo from the Piscataway Police Department. The Office of the Middlesex County Prosecutor sent Meghan McFadden and Jasmine Pagan to experience the VDT.
Katie Ciarelli, social worker at Parker’s Adult Day Center, began the program with a presentation on dementia, listing the types of calls police officers may see that involve those with dementia, such as theft, car accidents, and domestic violence. Violence in dementia is usually a reaction to some stimulus in the elder’s environment. Lieutenant Crisafulli shared that he responds to a half dozen calls pertaining to mental illness-related issues in a 10-hour shift.
After taking a pre-test about dementia and their own frame of mind, the visitors put on special glasses that simulated macular degeneration, heavy gloves that deterred touch, headphones that made hearing and thinking difficult, and an uncomfortable insert in their shoes. They were led, one at a time, to a room where a strobe light added discomfort by impacting vision. The room contained a rack of clothes, a pile of laundry on a table, a dining table and chairs with table settings, and an area to sit down and write.
“Each participant in the Virtual Dementia Tour® is given a series of everyday tasks to perform, such as writing a letter, folding laundry, and clearing a table of dinner settings,” Katie Ciarelli explains. The strobe light and glasses impede vision, the headphones restrict hearing and their feet hurt from the inserts. All the discomforts impact their ability to hear, understand and comply with the list of requested tasks.
In a debriefing conversation about their tour experiences, Detective Mark Zeno admitted to feeling nervous and uncomfortable, unsure of himself, and had difficulty focusing on the tasks. Jasmine Pagan remarked that she couldn’t hear the instructions given because of the headset noise, so she didn’t know what to do during the tour.
Lieutenant Anthony Crisafulli described the frustration that he felt with his inability to remember instructions during the tour. He noted that, “It was the most insightful five minutes I’ve ever had. It was eye-opening to see what it’s like to live in someone else’s shoes.”
In a letter sent to Parker the day after the event, Captain McLaughlin wrote about his experience: “I felt helpless while in the room. I felt suspicious of my coworkers as the delay in entry gave me the impression that my coworkers were somehow involved in the experiment and that I was being deceived as to what I was to be doing. Once I realized that they were as confused as I was, I looked to the staff members for assistance, yet none was offered.”
“Beyond the obvious difficulty in hand eye coordination was the feeling of alienation and a sense of being alone in a room full of people. I was humbled by the experience of feeling helpless, vision altered, touch limited, pain in my feet and hearing interrupted by the out of tune sounds in each ear. I will take what I have learned and share it with my fellow officers so that they may understand the difficulties a person with Dementia has to deal with on a daily basis,” McLaughlin added.
After the debriefing, Parker’s social worker team gave advice to the tour attendees about how to communicate with someone who lives with dementia:
- Identify yourself and state that you are here to help
- If the environment is loud or chaotic, move them to a quieter place to ease communication
- Use a clear voice, but not at an overly loud volume
- Ask the elder if they can hear you.
- Get down to their eye level. If the elder is sitting, take a seat or crouch down next to him.
- Use simple words and phrases. If you repeat yourself, use the same words and phrases, which helps someone with cognitive difficulties to process your question or comment.
- Avoid arguments
- Do not give strict orders
- Do not act condescending
- Do not ask detailed questions that require a detailed response.
At the end of the tour, all the attendees and Parker staff agreed that the Virtual Dementia Tour is of great value to first responders and other professionals who may be asked to help when someone with cognitive issues has a problem. Marcy Salzberg and Parker’s Virtual Dementia Tour team of facilitators will be planning more tours in the near future. For more information, call Parker at 732-902-4200.
By Harry Glazer
Meghan Edson is a senior in the School of Arts and Sciences at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, majoring in health administration in the Bloustein School of Planning and Public Policy and minoring in economics. Her hometown is Ringwood, NJ. She volunteers once a week, for a few hours at a time, in the Finance Office of Parker Home. She hopes to work in hospital administration after graduating Rutgers.
What drew Meghan to volunteer at Parker Home? She was looking to get some experience in health care and, having heard about Parker, she looked online and learned more about it. Meghan liked what she learned and was pleased that it was near the campus. She applied to be a volunteer and help out with administrative work. She started in May 2016.
What does Meghan do at Parker? She works with Diane Killmer, the Manager of Financial Operations, and assists by scanning insurance claims, filing, copying, and recording financial transactions for each month by location.
Diane is delighted to have Meghan’s assistance. “Meghan is always willing to learn and listens to instructions quite carefully,” said Diane. “She is an impressive young woman and genuinely interested in what we do. It is a real pleasure to work with her!”
Meghan is also very happy with her volunteer experience. “I enjoy working at Parker because it has given me the opportunity to work in a professional setting where I can enhance my knowledge of health care,” said Meghan. “Working with Diane has been an incredible experience and I look forward to learning more from her."
Photo: Meghan Edson (left) works alongside Diane Killmer
By Harry Glazer
Alvin Blumenfeld, 86, is a retired operations manager for an inventory company. He lives with his wife in Monroe Township, New Jersey.
What is your volunteer role at Parker?
I serve as the salesperson in the Country Store in Parker at the Pavilion, Highland Park, for four hours every Wednesday. On Thursdays, I help out at Parker at Monroe with filing and other administrative tasks. I also bring elders from their small home to the Health and Wellness Center and back again.
When did you start volunteering at Parker?
I’ve been volunteering since January 2012 in the Country Store and since April 2016 at Parker at Monroe.
What inspired you to volunteer at Parker?
My wife works in the Child Development Center, which is the child daycare program based in the Pavilion in Highland Park. It’s a bonus to drive in with her and help out by giving back to the community.
“Don’t let his humble nature fool you – Alvin is one of our most dedicated volunteers. His background in accounting has helped us so much. With Alvin doing the books for the Country Store, we have a much better sense of the income and expenses. I wish every volunteer was as sharp and easy going as Alvin,” said Catherine Martino, former Senior Manager of Volunteer Services and now Assistant Administrator of Parker at Stonegate assisted living residence.