Tips for making your time there as painless as possible
By George H. Schofield, Ph.D. for Next Avenue
Credit: Thinkstock
Any hospital stay can be a revelation. When it’s totally unexpected, the experience can be even more fraught with surprises. I speak from personal experience and have some advice based on it.
Last year, I had pain severe enough to require a middle-of-the-night visit to the ER. It turned out to be kidney stones — stones that felt like boulders and required an invasive procedure (a ureteroscopy) to view, measure and then zap them into dust. Star Wars inside my body while I was out cold.
The procedure was performed at a great hospital. I had a great specialist. It all went well.
Even so, as I was recovering, I realized just how important it is to be prepared for a medical emergency that requires hospitalization. What if the searing pain was a symptom of something far more serious — something that rendered me unconscious or otherwise incapacitated, such as what follows a stroke? What about an injury while I was out bike riding or a car accident?
With hindsight, I realized we all need to do five things during and after a hospital stay that I never would have thought about before my kidney stone adventure:
1. When you’re in the hospital, have someone who is smart, professional and assertive stay with you to serve as an advocate. Loving you is not the primary qualification for a partner in these circumstances. This person has to be smart enough to understand what’s really going on, cool enough to stabilize the emotional level instead of increasing it, astute enough to make sure you have a realistic level of ongoing attention and still have the energy and desire to do for you the small things that you temporarily cannot do for yourself.
He or she needs to be someone whose capabilities and interest in your health are absolutely solid and who has the confidence and pluck to keep asking questions of medical professionals, even if they’re rushed, brusque or difficult.
This assumes, of course, that you have been proactive by creating and providing a medical power of attorney and an advance care directive to both your personal physician and your hospital for their records. If you have not done so, don’t wait. Doing it when you are sick is way too late. You can download the forms you need; be sure to get the forms appropriate for your state.
2. Be a good patient (but don’t expect to be at your best). If you are lying in a wheeled bed, in pain, with a port somewhere in your arm connected to bottles of fluid, and feeling a bit out of control, you are unlikely to be your usual centered, reasonable self. So be a good patient and rely on a trusted partner (see above).
3. Thoroughly examine the diagnosis and recommended treatment before you buy into it. Difficult as this can be, it’s very important that you and your partner understand what is happening to your body and what the treatment options are. Then you can work together with medical professionals in making the best choice for your return to health.
4. Rely on nurses. They know what’s really going on. Physicians, especially specialists, are incredibly busy. They’ll see you during rounds, but are usually on tight schedules and can pay only limited attention to you. Who checks on you regularly, tracks your vital signs (and explains what they mean), clears up what you don’t understand, makes practical suggestions, and has seen it all before? Your nurses.
5. Once released, write a letter to hospital administrators about the person(s) who gave you the best care you received. Thanking your medical professionals personally is good manners. But if you really want to reward your caregivers, nurses, therapists and doctors, do so in writing to their superior. That kind of recognition doesn’t happen often enough in the busy world of hospital medicine.
Hospital stays aren’t much fun, but they can be bearable. Knowing what to expect can certainly help. And these tips can’t hurt — which is a good thing, since you’ll have enough of that anyway.
© Twin Cities Public Television – 2016. All rights reserved.
By Fern Marder
On May 9th, residents and staff of Parker at McCarrick gathered on the patio to witness Franklin Township Councilwoman Rozalyn Sherman and Councilman James Vassanella present a proclamation from the Mayor and Township Council. The document proclaims the week of May 8th to 14th as National Nursing Home Week, “to honor our vulnerable citizens who receive care and the dedicated ones giving care.” National Nursing Home Week was established by The American Health Care Association (AHCA) in 1967, as the first full week in May.
While addressing the audience, Parker at McCarrick Administrator Jim Zauner spoke about all the nursing home staff and care partners who support each resident with person-directed care, social interaction, and a compassionate heart.
On behalf of Franklin Township Mayor Chris Kelly, Councilwoman Sherman read the proclamation aloud and noted that it urges all citizens to visit a loved one, family member or friend residing in any care setting to spend quality time with their loved ones to show love and support.
Councilman Vassanella stated that he was happy a premier long-term care facility is located in Franklin Township, noting that the population of older Americans is expanding and there is a growing need for daytime assistance or long-term care. The Councilman is no stranger to Parker at McCarrick. His father attended McCarrick’s Adult Day program and his grandmother was also a resident there. Vassanella visited his grandmother at McCarrick frequently and fondly recalls making time to see her before each business trip.
Ken, a resident of Parker at McCarrick, spoke to the audience about living in the home: “This is a great time to live in a facility. We’re not in an old age home because there are so many clubs and activities. You should enjoy yourselves at all times.”
Parker was honored by the proclamation and the visit by the council members. And we are touched by the testimonial of our resident. Both attest to the highest ideals of nursing homes, as celebrated in National Nursing Home Week.
The heart-rending off-Broadway production 'Dot' sparks tears and hope for change
By Deborah Quilter for Next Avenue
Credit: Photo by Carol Rosegg
Caption: (L to R) Sharon Washington, Marjorie Johnson, Finnerty Steevens.
If you have ever cared for an older person with dementia or Alzheimer’s, a new play by Coleman Domingo (who’s also an actor and director) that ran through March 23 at Manhattan’s Vineyard Theatre will likely touch a nerve. Though Dot focuses on a middle-class black family from West Philadelphia, audience members who stayed for a discussion about caregiving after the performance I attended found the message of this comedy-drama universal.
Shelly, sympathetically portrayed by Sharon Washington, is the put-upon daughter who performs the lion’s share of her mother Dotty’s care. Shelly, who also has a 9-year-old son, is already at the boiling point when the play opens. If we could see her blood pressure, it would be through the roof.
Shelly is tired of repeating answers to her mom’s questions she just answered minutes ago and exhausted from being her mother’s major caregiver despite having a brother and a sister who could help. Shelly’s completely understandable anger spews out into the kitchen, where she is trying to get her mother to eat some breakfast while entertaining a family friend, Jackie, the oh-so-nuanced Finnerty Steeves. Jackie looks on mystified as Shelly screams that she just told her mother what time it was, and no, Dotty (veteran actor Marjorie Johnson) is not going out to the grocery store alone, all while banging pots and pans and slamming cabinet doors so hard you think they’ll fly off their hinges.
Watching and Worrying
When Dot retreats to the bathroom, Shelly fills Jackie in. “It’s Alzheimer’s. It’s a bitch,” she says. “The cops pulled her over because she was going 95 miles per hour. They asked her why she was driving so fast and she said the wind felt good on her.” The police also asked Dot where she was going, but she didn’t know. They found Shelly’s number on her mother’s cell phone. “That’s how I found out,” Shelly recalled.
Credit: Photo by Carol Rosegg
Marjorie Johnson plays the title character in Dot.
Shelly can’t leave her mother alone in the house, so she takes her to work. On top of everything else, Shelly worries that Dot will commit suicide. After hearing her diagnosis, Dotty declared she didn’t want to be a burden to anyone. The toll of constant caregiving has profoundly impacted Shelly. “Girl, this just isn’t me,” she muses to Jackie at one point. “I’m fun.”
Maybe Shelly used to be fun, but not these days. Day in, day out, she must now oversee myriad tasks: get her easily distracted mother to sign legal papers, take her medication and eat. Nonstop monitoring consumes all of Shelly’s energy and fun is the last thing on her mind.
The only break Shelly gets is when Fidel (Michael Rosen), a political refugee from Kazakhstan, comes a few times a week to help out. Dot needed full-time care yesterday, but there’s no money for that. Shelly is doing the best she can — and sometimes that means giving her mother sleeping medications during the day and pouring herself a watermelon vodka at 10 o’clock in the morning.
Family Matters
At the beginning of Act Two, we find Dotty sitting on the couch with Fidel. “I lose everything,” she confides in a rare moment of lucidity. “I forget appointments. I can’t remember people’s names. I have trouble finding the right words to say. I’m scared.” Fidel looks on and listens compassionately.
Later, as the children bicker about how to care for their mother, Fidel weeps softly on the phone to someone at home, speaking in his native tongue. We know something is very upsetting to him, but don’t know what. Fidel doesn’t let the problem show as he pulls himself together to serve coffee to the family.
Credit: Photo by Carol Rosegg
Michael Rosen plays Fidel, Dotty’s paid caregiver, in Dot.
While Dotty is finding a present, Shelly tries to enlist the assistance of her brother and sister. When Donnie (Stephen Conrad Moore) dismisses her fears, saying that Dotty’s disease is just beginning, Shelly roars back that that stage has passed long ago. She sees her mother’s decline clearly because, unlike her siblings, she is there most of the time.
“Her disease is crashing all around us,” Shelly cries. Tension builds, fights erupt — until the lights on the Christmas tree itself swirl madly, threatening to topple it.
At the play’s end, as the family gathers at the foot of the staircase, awaiting the entrance of her grandchild, Dotty stands alone. Forgotten amid the chaos and celebration, she gazes at the audience from her own inner world of who knows what.
The ‘Panini’ Effect
After the performance I saw, a panel discussion including actors Sharon Washington and Michael Rosen, moderated by feminist/activist Jamia Wilson and Sarita Gupta, co-director of Caring Across Generations, elicited thoughtful responses from audience members, many of whom were caregivers.
Gupta referred to boomer caregivers as the “Panini Generation” because they are squeezed by having both young children and older parents to care for. Though it may feel lonely and personal to those going through it, Gupta sees caregiving as a shared, societal issue. But that doesn’t make things easy.
One attendee testified from first-hand experience. “You have people in the family who can’t handle what’s going on,” she said, her voice breaking through tears. “Too many times there’s no conversation, and things fall apart.”
The hardships and precarious lives of paid caregivers — many of whom are immigrants — were also addressed. Michael Rosen, who played Fidel with spot-on sensitivity, talked about the influence Jin, his grandparents’ caregiver, had in creating his performance. Everyone raved about Jin, who knew how to handle his mother perfectly and did everything right. On closer inspection, however, it turned out there was quite a cost to her.
“Jin hadn’t been home to Thailand in 15 years,” Rosen reported. (His character, Fidel, hadn’t been home in nine.) “She had two grown children and was working from check to check, sending her earnings home.”
Rosen hopes that maybe the play will make people notice the Jins and Fidels of the world and give them some attention.
These outside caregivers — who do important work, as anyone who as ever relied on them knows — are often poorly paid. One woman in the back of the house identified herself as an immigrant caregiver. She was 62. “I am Fidel. I see what’s happening to American families,” she said.
This spurred Gupta to ask who would look after our aging caregivers?
He's done it around the world, but you can do it at home
By Jonathan Look for Next Avenue
Credit: Thinkstock
One of the biggest goals of my career as an air traffic controller was having a worry-free retirement. I envisioned a comfortable place where I could lie back and watch the world pass by; where I could live not only without work, but without challenge, worry or stress.
As retirement started getting closer, however, I realized that living in that place would not only be extraordinarily easy, it would be excruciatingly ordinary and boring.
What Fulfilled Retirees Have In Common
I had been reading a lot about what people do to get the most fulfillment from their retirement years. The most inspiring stories were of ones who’d taken retirement as an opportunity to try new things, push their boundaries and seek new horizons. They all intentionally lived (at least a portion of their lives) outside of their “comfort zones” — mental boundaries we construct to keep ourselves content, provide a sense of security and keep our anxieties low.
Because I’ve always had a passion for travel, the new horizons aspect of their lives was what appealed to me the most. So, in 2011, at age 50, I decided to sell everything I owned and travel the world.
I realize, to some people, that may seem impractical or a little radical, but it made sense to me. I had always dreamed of exploring new places and didn’t want to waste my new freedom by settling into a complacent rut little different from when I was working.
The Problem With Not Challenging Yourself
It is the unchallenging nature of comfort zones that, on the surface, tends to make them so appealing. The problem is that when we are unchallenged, we don’t try new things or unlock our hidden talents or potential.
Studies have proven that learning new and demanding things outside of our comfort zones (and maintaining an active social network) is key in keeping us sharp as we age. Merely exercising the mind with things that don’t push our boundaries, such as reading or puzzles, doesn’t necessarily improve cognitive function. It has to be new things that create a bit of anxiety, but offer potential rewards.
Himalayan Climbing and Cobra Eating
Since I retired, I have lived in four countries and visited many others. I love it. I have climbed to Tiger’s Nest Monastery high in the Himalayan Mountains of Bhutan, scuba-dived in the Indian Ocean and eaten the still-beating heart of a cobra in Vietnam (talk about stepping out of a comfort zone!). I have slept on mats in hill tribe villages and in five-star hotels and traveled by every conveyance possible, from private planes to horse carts.
Even when I am in my ever-changeable “home base,” I try to push my boundaries every day.
Learning new skills, making friends from around the world and putting myself out there by writing my Life Part 2 blog has made my world larger, more nuanced and flavorful (figuratively and literally). By pushing my boundaries, and getting out of my comfort zones, I have become more confident, less judgmental and more open to new ideas.
Challenging Your Comfort Zones Where You Live
It doesn’t have to be about climbing mountains, diving the oceans or challenging your palate with unusual things for you, though. There are thousands of ways to expand your horizons and challenge your comfort zones, even right where you live.
Getting started can be as simple as striking up a conversation with the neighbor you’ve seen for years but haven’t met. It could be as easy as looking on the Internet for a thespian group, joining a hiking club or learning to salsa.
Trying new things or even daring to look at our lives in different ways can be scary. But inaction created by fear or inertia robs us of the potential that results from trying new things.
Retirement is the perfect time to explore and take advantage of new opportunities. Comfort zones should be places where we go to relax, reflect and rejuvenate. They should not become permanent retirement destinations where we passively allow time to slip away.
© Twin Cities Public Television – 2016. All rights reserved.
Facing death, divorce and his mortality, this writer discovers a path to peace
By Chuck Otto for Next Avenue
Credit: Getty Images
Like so many members of our boomer generation, I walked away from organized religion long ago. Baptized and confirmed Episcopalian in childhood, my last steady churchgoing experience involved attending “youth services” in my teens, where we stood around in a prayer circle in our jeans and sandals, singing contemporary hymns in a fog of incense. In recent years, my presence in any house of worship largely has been confined to weddings, funerals, a few bat mitzvahs and the occasional Christmas Eve service.
Not that I haven’t pondered matters of faith. Several years into adult life, I spent some time exploring different religions. I particularly liked the Baha’i faith, which emphasizes “the spiritual unity of all mankind.” Baha’i views all religious figures, from Moses and Muhammad to Buddha and Jesus, as “messengers” heralding our evolution to eventual world peace. I loved the conceptual framework, but certain fasting and abstinence requirements sent me packing. Ultimately, I claimed Nature as my true religion, forest and shore as my sacred ground (something I still believe), while joking of my devotion to “the tree people.”
Flash forward a few decades and suddenly there I was, coping with divorce, death and life’s other defining moments as I confronted my own fleeting mortality. Where were those tree people now that I needed them?
A few years ago, I realized that my lack of a spiritual life knocked everything else off-kilter. I also recognized that I needed a way to unplug from the stresses of everyday life or run the risk of slipping into serious substance abuse, anti-social behavior and/or a hermit’s existence.
Finding My Mantra
Transcendental Meditation provided me with part of the solution. Not as a religious practice, because TM is a tool, not an ideology. Rather, it offered me a way to take myself offline for a few minutes each day to recharge, refresh and just exist in the present moment.
The journey began when I attended an informational TM talk at my local library and connected with Carol and Paul Morehead, two longtime TM teacher/practitioners based in Evanston, Ill. Once I signed on, they gave me my mantra — the sound-with-no-meaning that one repeats, silently during a 20-minute meditation session. Through periodic check-ins and TM group gatherings, Carol and Paul have kept me on track with my practice.
For those whose knowledge of Transcendental Meditation begins and ends with old 1960s pictures of the Beatles and the Maharishi looking blissed-out, the decades since have amassed a considerable body of clinical research affirming its value. TM has earned solid props for dealing with depression, ADHD, PTSD and many other modern toxic stresses. Soldiers, students, business leaders, prisoners, prison guards and numerous celebrity types swear by it. Speaking from a one-year practitioner’s perspective, TM’s benefits include a better night’s sleep and the ability to let go of negative thoughts and feelings more quickly.
Self-Help Spirituality
Opening the door to TM coincided with my renewed interest in spiritual matters. A friend’s gift of Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now on CD sat unopened for years, until my mother’s illness and eventual death back in Detroit demanded long stretches of highway time and the need for a distraction. Several Tolle listenings later, I found myself on the slippery slope that leads to Deepak Chopra, Louise Hay, The Untethered Soul and Zen and the Art of Happiness. Suddenly the self-help gurus I had mocked for years were providing the foundation for a spiritual life.
What drew me to these thinkers was their obvious respect for all people and religions, a high point of my Baha’i experience, along with echoes of TM’s credo to pay more attention to the present moment. I also recognized numerous similarities between the different faiths, including the call for quiet contemplation to better connect with the Divine within, known to Buddhists as “inner stillness.” Some Christians interpret Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God,” in a similar manner.
My spiritual life today does not include formal church services or incense, although I sometimes meditate at the beautiful Baha’i temple just outside of Chicago, and might linger there awhile over an inspirational reading.
My religious doctrine is simple and highly derivative:
- All are one; respect all faiths and people.
- A Divine Presence exists around and within each of us.
- We are meant to be a force for good in the world.
- When our time here ends, our Being/Soul ascends to a higher level of consciousness — “heaven,” if you prefer — that is beyond human comprehension.
As such, I don’t really fear death, although I’m in no hurry to leave and would prefer a painless departure.
What It’s Really Like to Meditate
So, what’s it like to meditate? Speaking personally, it’s a calming, welcome break I look forward to ideally twice a day, but one that requires a constant, gentle nudging away from intruding thoughts.
My process is simple: I set the 21-minute timer on my iPhone — I always need a minute to settle in — close my eyes, and start to silently repeat my mantra. Per my TM teachings, I don’t try to maintain a steady rhythm to the sound, although it usually coincides loosely with my breathing.
During my first months of practicing TM, it bothered me that my mind constantly wandered. Carol and Paul, my ever-patient TM guides, continually assured me that all thoughts, good and bad, are a part of the process and in fact help to release stress. As long as I eventually return to my mantra, they said, I am on the right path. To this day, my mind still wanders, but I accept it without guilt or upset.
I imagine that each person’s meditation experience is different. Some TM practitioners speak of extended periods of transcendence, where space and time are meaningless and their creativity is super-charged. So far I have had only a few, fleeting moments that approached this state. But I see other benefits. Nighttime rest comes more easily for me now, and the mental rehashing of unpleasant experiences passes more quickly. These gifts alone likely will keep me meditating for the rest of my life.
Transcendental Meditation Resources
- This Is Your Brain on Transcendental Meditation (from Prevention)
- The TM Blog (from Maharishi Foundation)
- Videos About Transcendental Meditation (from Maharishi Foundation)
© Twin Cities Public Television – 2016. All rights reserved.
By Fern Marder
Harry Glazer (center) presides over the Passover Seder at Parker at Monroe
Parker loves to host well-orchestrated events for our residents, and religious holidays aren’t an exception. Our holiday parties in December are elaborate affairs for residents and their families and friends. Our sumptuous Easter dinner draws a large crowd too. This year, it was my pleasure to help my colleague, Senior Manager of Communications Harry Glazer, officiate at Purim celebrations in two homes and Passover Seders in three locations: Parker at River Road, Parker at Monroe, and Parker at Stonegate assisted living residence.
Parker is sensitive to our residents’ religious needs and tries to accommodate them as best as we can. We have two staff members who provide pastoral services for Parker residents – Father Andrew in Parker at McCarrick and Sister Ann Casserly in Parker at River Road – but many religious services are provided by our dedicated volunteers. Harry has volunteered to lead Jewish Sabbath Services for Parker at Stonegate for the past ten months, so officiating holiday services was a natural next step.
For Purim, Harry found an abridged version of the Book of Esther, and assigned the parts of Haman, Mordechai, Queen Esther, and the King to staff members who boldly volunteered to participate. While Harry and I took turns reading the book, the actors pantomimed events as described in the text, much to the enjoyment of our residents. For Passover, Harry reviewed and combined elements of three Haggadahs (the book read during Passover Seders) into one version, which also included the traditional rituals and songs that have been beloved for centuries. The residents in all three homes enjoyed their Seders, many of whom remarked about how much it reminded them of the celebrations they enjoyed in their younger years.
However, it takes a village to celebrate a holiday at Parker. It wouldn’t have been possible without the assistance of Parker’s dining services, housekeeping, maintenance, IT, and recreation teams, whose hard work ensured that our residents enjoyed the holidays in comfort and with traditional foods.
Volunteering our time to celebrate holidays with the residents was such a rewarding experience that Harry has already begun pondering about what we can do to celebrate other Jewish holidays on the calendar. We welcome your suggestions and hope to see more volunteers assist at Parker’s religious celebrations.
Cautionary words from a Next Avenue Influencer In Aging
By Sudipto Banerjee for Next Avenue
Credit: Thinkstock
(Editor’s Note: This article is part of Next Avenue’s 2015 Influencers in Aging project honoring 50 people changing how we age and think about aging.)
There are many uncertainties in retirement. For example, we don’t know how long we are going to live, what the interest rates will be or how the stock market will behave. But one thing is nearly certain: our health will decline as we age.
That means at some point, most of us will face serious functional limitations and, in the event of serious health shocks, maybe even permanent disability. As a result, a large number of older Americans might require professional medical care at home or in institutions such as nursing homes. But there is a lack of awareness about the risk of long-term care because of two big misconceptions surrounding the topic.
Misconception No. 1: Very few people end up using long-term care. This study by researchers from the National Bureau of Economic Research estimates that a 50-year-old has a 53 to 59 percent chance of entering a nursing home during his or her lifetime.
In a recent study by the Employee Benefit Research Institute (EBRI), where I work, we found that between 2010 and 2012, nearly a quarter (23 percent) of those at or above age 85 recorded overnight stays in a nursing home facility. This number may not seem too high, but it is only for those who survived the entire two-year period of the study. When we analyzed the sample of only those who died during the same two-year period, the corresponding number was 62 percent.
Misconception No. 2: Medicare pays for all long-term care needs. Medicare covers some part of nursing-home expenses up to 100 days, but only in a skilled nursing facility and the nursing-home stay must be preceded by a qualifying hospital stay of more than three consecutive days.
Custodial care (nonmedical assistance, typically for activities of daily living such as bathing, eating and dressing), which is the most common form of long-term care provided by nursing homes, is not covered by Medicare.
Medicaid pays for such care, but families typically must exhaust nearly all of their income and assets to qualify. As a result, Medicaid is the long-term care coverage of last resort for those with no assets.
The High Cost of Long-Term Care
The truth is, long-term care is very expensive. According to a John Hancock national study of long-term care costs, in 2013, the average annual cost of care in the U.S. was $94,170 for a private room in a nursing home ($82,855 for a semi-private room); $41,124 for an assisted living facility and $18,460 for adult day care. The average annual cost of care received at home was approximately $29,640.
(Editor's Note: Parker's rates are listed on this website for each of our homes and services.)
(Editor's Note: Parker's rates are listed on this website for each of our homes and services.)
In the EBRI study mentioned above, during the two-year period examined, households with a member aged 85 or above spent an average of $24,185 out-of-pocket for long-term care expenses. But the households in the top 10 percent of nursing-home spending spent more than $66,600.
Long-term care costs are probably most concerning for middle-income households. High-income households may be able to self-insure and low- income households may not have enough assets to protect, so Medicaid will likely cover their expenses.
According to EBRI’s Retirement Security Projection Model predictions, 89 percent of households in the second-income quartile will not run short of money in retirement if these unpredictable health care costs are ignored. However, if these costs are included, only 42 percent of households in that income group won’t run short of money, based on projections.
Planning to Buy Protection
A possible solution for those who want to protect their assets from the risk of the costs of long-term care: long-term care insurance.
Premiums for this coverage vary depending on factors such as the age when the policy is bought, the extent of the coverage, the waiting period before benefits begin, inflation protection and where you live. But they can be expensive.
So, future retirees need to plan carefully if they want the protection of long-term care insurance.
© Twin Cities Public Television – 2016. All rights reserved.
New possibilities for older adults produce dividends for all
By Paul H. Irving for Next Avenue
Credit: Thinkstock
Editor’s note: This article is part of Next Avenue’s 2015 Influencers in Aging project honoring 50 people changing how we age and think about aging. Paul H. Irving was a member of the 2015 Influencers In Aging Advisory Panel.
Marc Freedman, founder and CEO of Encore.org, offers an insightful observation about the promise and potential of longer lives. “Thousands of baby boomers each day surge into their 60s and 70s,” he wrote in a recent article for The Wall Street Journal. “It’s time to focus on enriching lives, not just lengthening them; on providing purpose and productivity, not just perpetuity.”
While population aging brings health, financial and social risks, an understanding of the opportunities is emerging. At the Milken Institute Center for the Future of Aging, we study, convene, report on and respond to these risks and opportunities, searching for solutions to bring beneficial change. Joining with others who share our vision, we believe that it’s time to challenge conventional wisdom and established norms — that new possibilities for older adults hold promise for strengthening societies, expanding economies and improving life for all ages.
Traditional retirement is being re-imagined as older adults reject age segregation, decline and mass leisure to work, pursue learning, launch businesses and contribute to their communities through volunteerism and civic engagement. A longevity economy is developing as markets recognize the demand for products and services to meet the needs of the emerging aging demographic. Innovations in medicine and technology present hope for increasing life and health spans, while advanced research is revealing the power of the aging brain.
The Power of Purpose
So many new opportunities are unfolding to enrich aging lives. But none is more hopeful than the possibility of elevating beneficial purpose as a new life course model for aging populations across the world.
Purpose enhances psychological and physical health, and is correlated with greater productivity, creativity and resilience. People with purpose tend to be more involved with their families, communities and colleagues.
Purpose is uplifting, providing the fuel for enhanced engagement, effort and contribution. Sherry Lansing, the pioneering entertainment industry leader, whose eponymous foundation supports encore career opportunities and other causes, says, “I always thought if I was lucky enough to achieve the dreams I had in the movie business … I wanted to have a third chapter that was about giving back and about the things I cared about.”
Purpose is powerful medicine. In his study of “Blue Zones” (communities in which people are more likely to live past 100), Next Avenue Influencer in Aging Dan Buettner identified factors that centenarians share, including a strong sense of purpose. People with purpose were also less likely to develop impairments in daily living. Yale researcher Becca Levy and her colleagues found that older individuals with a positive self-perception of aging lived 7.5 years longer than those who are less positive. Patricia Boyle of Rush University Medical Center found that participants with a high level of purpose were 2.4 times more likely to remain free of Alzheimer’s disease.
Purpose is a buffer. The pain and frustration of ageism, illness and loneliness can be mitigated by purpose. In Man’s Search for Meaning, the remarkable memoir on his experience in Auschwitz, psychiatrist Victor Frankl wrote that “life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.”
Purpose is family-changing, community-changing and world-changing. It’s about reaching out, getting involved and acting on those instincts and inclinations to add value for others and meaning to life. As Nelson Mandela said, “A fundamental concern for others in our individual and community lives would go a long way in making the world the better place we so passionately dreamt of.”
We are at an inflection point, at the intersection of a fundamental demographic change and a search for meaning. We have the opportunity to elevate purposeful aging as a goal for older adults across America and the world, and in doing so, marshal a powerful human resource to make change.
Purposeful aging — a model for a new life course, and a better world.
© Twin Cities Public Television – 2016. All rights reserved.
10 rules to live by from the author of 'The War of the Roses'
By Warren Adler for Next Avenue
Credit: Thinkstock
I always wanted to be a writer. Ever since I was conscious, I felt that inexplicable pull to tell a story, to create a scene, to leave a reader wanting to know what would happen next. When life’s responsibilities came knocking, i.e. I had a family to support, my career as a published author was put on hold. However, I knew that nothing would block the path to my dream: to be a full-time writer in control of my career and destiny.
I had a late start as a published writer, at 46, and since then I’ve published more than 50 works, including The War of the Roses, which became the nomenclature of divorce worldwide and turned into a box-office hit. Having been in the creative ballgame for nearly half a century, I have seen the various reincarnations of the publishing industry.
Self-publishing was my way of taking back control of my own destiny. Folks often tell me that I’m the oldest working writer they know. The truth is: I don’t know how to stop. I work on novels, articles, blog posts and maintain contact with fans from around the world every single day. I hope my insights below and my optimism inspire you to persevere through struggle and continue on your writer’s journey.
1. Do not overanalyze.
You can think something to death and never get anything done. Keep moving and don’t look back too often. I find it boring to be constantly looking back. The future is much more exciting.
2. Never take rejection of your work to heart.
Rejection is an inevitable part of any dream you pursue. I’ve been told “no” many times and never took it seriously. It may be impractical, unwise, foolish, pure madness, but if you truly believe in yourself, your talent, your ideas, your calling, your personal mission, why not, as Lewis Carroll wrote, “go on until the end, and then stop”?
My first novel wasn’t published until I was 46 years old. Ignore insults and negative, unproductive feedback. In today’s age, where everything is gone with the flicker of a screen, be happy that your work is garnering attention. Make sure your name is spelled right.
3. Mind your morning rituals and stay informed.
I wake up every day at 5 a.m. and write until 10 a.m., after which I read the various news outlets.
Read the news and the world’s happenings around you. Inspiration and enlightenment come from current events. Gaining a new perspective never hurt anyone. The truth is, most times, stranger than fiction.
4. Write at least 100 pages before you decide to scrap a novel.
Don’t be so quick to toss work to the trash heap. Get to know your characters and story, but also know when to start anew.
5. Don’t be afraid of change.
Embrace change while staying true to yourself. When digital publishing was in its infancy, few people believed in its power to revolutionize the way people read. I was thought of as crazy, but I was determined to achieve independence as an author and I made it happen.
6. Seize opportunity whenever you can.
I would never have predicted that my first novel would be published the way it was. I was running a PR agency at the time, when a client walked through my door, asking if I could promote his book. I decided to take a risk and said that I would promote his book for free if he published my manuscript. To my utter delight, he agreed and the rest is, as they say, history.
7. Think of yourself as an entrepreneur as well.
People who join the fray as individual authors in self-publishing will have to think of themselves as being in business on their own and pursue strategies as with any business venture.
8. Never let anyone else control your destiny.
Keeping my authorial name alive involves some pretty heavy lifting, investment and optimism, but it’s 100 percent worth it.
9. Stand up for your beliefs and take action.
Don’t be afraid to be the first one. I fought to keep a library open in Wyoming that I knew would benefit generations to come and I got my way. I was also a pioneer of the short story contest, launching the Jackson Hole Writers Conference.
10. Don’t be afraid to color outside the lines.
I write what I want and I never repeat myself. Writing the same book over and over would bore me. Each novel I’ve written is a different story, a different tone and genre.
I hope that my insights inspire you or reinvigorate your zest for this strange and phenomenal path that we’ve chosen, or more accurately, that has chosen us.
© Twin Cities Public Television – 2016. All rights reserved.
3 real-life stories show why doing this is so important
By John Seber for Next Avenue
Credit: Thinkstock
If someone will need to settle your estate or care for you because you’re seriously ill, that could mean needing to amass critical financial information about you in a hurry. But this kind of scavenger hunt — finding legal documents, bank accounts, insurance policies, credit cards, online accounts and the like — is very hard when that person is grieving or dealing with a multitude of caregiving issues.
That’s why you should take the necessary steps now, before a potential crisis arrives, to get your records together.
I call this focusing on three dimensions: What you want to document, Where it is located and Who should know about it. This way, your loved ones will easily be able to find what they need when the time comes.
3 Personal Stories
Let me give you three examples from my life that will show you why I feel so passionately about this. In each case, well-organized data was — or would have been — helpful:
My responsible aunt She lived independently her entire life and had superb control over her affairs. She was well-organized and kept diligent records. Totally in control, everything was in order. Then, at 83, she had a debilitating stroke.
As a result, she was first confined to a hospital and then admitted to a skilled nursing home, where she lived until passing away at 87.
With great vision, my aunt had made proper preparations in designating both a Power of Attorney and an executor — me. I was blessed that she had kept outstanding records. She had a book that listed her stocks, bank accounts and other financial information and a small safe containing her legal documents and the deed to her house, stock certificates and other important papers.
All of this planning allowed me to efficiently manage her affairs. And because she could still communicate when I became Power of Attorney, she was able to clarify details and answer other questions. This aunt was a role model on all three dimensions. What, Where and Who.
My less-responsible aunt I had another aunt who also lived independently, but she wasn’t as organized and was reluctant to share information with other family members, even though she had appointed a Power of Attorney and an executor — me again.
Then she developed dementia, which led me off on a wild goose chase to locate her financial records. I’ll never forget the day I was cleaning out one of her old dressers and discovered three forgotten bankbooks with a total value of $150,000. They had not been presented for interest at the bank for almost three years, and were about to be treated as abandoned property. Sadly, this aunt failed on the What and Where dimensions of organization.
Family friends I also had close family friends who lived on our street. The father had an unexpected massive heart attack in his early 50s and suddenly died. He hadn’t made any advanced preparations and when the tragedy occurred, those left behind had no awareness of their financial condition, nor the location of his records.
I volunteered to help supervise getting his affairs in order to settle the estate. But where were the funds to pay the bills? Was there savings? Insurance? No one knew where to start. That began a tedious task of searching through each room in the house and through every file and pile of papers.
Also, no one knew how to access his computer to see if he had vital information online or in email messages and no one knew his passwords or anything about his online accounts.
Regrettably, history repeated itself a few years later, when the mother also passed away unexpectedly. Although I had set up a process for her for better record keeping, she didn’t follow it to maintain updated information. This created an enormous burden for their children.
How to Get Organized
Please learn from these true events. Here’s how to get organized using the three dimensions I’ve mentioned:
WHAT We can’t expect our loved ones to remember key information about our financial lives without a roadmap of documentation. Think about your insurance, bank accounts, investments, wills, Powers of Attorney, living wills, trusts, custodial accounts and guardianship documents. In addition, in this digital age, there are also your online accounts and passwords.
WHERE Think about where your critical information is stored. Can it be found easily?
WHO This is about proactively designating someone or some people to manage your affairs as your Power of Attorney or executor allowing them to legally act on your behalf. Once you’ve chosen these people, be sure to tell them. If you find the topic too uncomfortable to discuss, at least tell them where to find an envelope you’ve created or the place in your home that has all the key information.
Lists to Prepare
If you do nothing else, at least prepare basic lists manually and let your family know their location. It’s actually a simple process to quickly organize your data.
First, develop your categories: Bank accounts, insurance policies, investments, online accounts/passwords, credit cards, etc. Next, for each category, think of the specific information you want to collect. This can be managed in spreadsheets or in a Word document, but you don’t need to use a website or even a computer. You can manually write it all out, and develop a binder.
One more thing: Remember that this is not a one-time effort. You need to review things periodically to keep your financial information up to date.
If you decide to use any online solution to organize your financial life, be sure it’s a secure site. And even if it is, do not store complete details there which could facilitate a theft! For example, I ask my clients not to list their full credit card numbers or passwords and PINs online. Rather, storing only the last digits and the 800-number of the financial institution’s customer service will be adequate information to get to your specifics quickly.
© Twin Cities Public Television – 2016. All rights reserved.